I wish I only lived at night.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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