I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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