Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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