Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
