hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize