she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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