It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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