Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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