I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
