i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
