U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
