i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Come share oat with me in your robe
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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