And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
