3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
