just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
