I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
