I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
