Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
