This is not my ceiling
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
