so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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