I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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