if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
