You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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