What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
