How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
