well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
