Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize