Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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