Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
