how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
