I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i think i have two assholes
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
