we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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