She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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