Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
