I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she smelled like a LAN party
operation have a gay friend backfired
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She tied me up with her honor cords...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
