White coat. Heels.
i think my tv is drunk
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
