Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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