Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We need to get me chipped asap
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
