Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
