I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
