Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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