yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This is classic penis vs brain.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
