I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
