He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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