You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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