a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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