No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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