no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
