One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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