belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
