I puked a lego.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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