ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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