You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
